Greetings from The River of Boiling Water where the weather can’t make up its fucking mind and a local brewery is having their annual release party of a beer named after the King of Fairies.

On the Internets:

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I really don’t want to sound like a broken record with all the stuff going on about encryption as of late, but it’s a really big deal. Remember in 2014 when all those celebrity nudes got leaked from iCloud accounts? Turns out that was done by hackers using a tool that was designed for government agencies. Also, the LGBTQ community shows why encryption is important, even if you think it’s not. I’m really trying to drive this point home, because you might be someone who believes that intelligence is inherent, and you might be overestimating yourself. Speaking of smart people, these three dudes can’t play their local pub quiz anymore because they kept winning. (YOU’RE WELCOME BALLS DOWN.) There was also a guy who thought God would save him, but the lions said “Nope.” T-Mobile won’t count porn towards your data if you subscribe to Binge On.

Locally:

My local trivia game of choice has gone away, making me very sad. I’m not saying it had anything to do with the way my team pulled out its (final) win, but it IS interesting.  Most of my weekend was spent working on getting my stupid moped to run (SPOILER: IT’S STILL NOT RUNNING WELL ENOUGH TO RIDE IT.) And another local brewery had their Bourbon Barrel Aged releases.

I’ve Been Reading:

An amazing essay by Kevin Powell.

An interview with Alan Moore on the art of Magic.

An article on the effects on libraries and librarians in a post-Snowden world.

Absolutely gut wrenchingly beautiful issues 6 and 7 of Bitch Planet. (I MAY NEED A TISSUE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.)

In the Earhole:

Nothing says “work on mopeds” like punk rock, apparently.

Eye Pollution:

The latest installment of The Night Manager has prompted me to think I need to wait for the next two episodes to come out before I watch it again because I WANT TO WATCH MORE OF IT. Also, it contained a John le Carre cameo!

I ALSO HAZ VIDEOS FOR YOU TO WATCH!

Here’s a pilot for an unaired show called “A Drink With Shane MacGowan”. Pretty much does what it says on the tin, features Chris Penn, Traci Lords, and Johnny Depp.

If that’s not enough, here’s this amazing short staring DEVO:

And a Miss Juggalette Pageant:

 

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

After losing to Barcelona 1-3 to go out of the Champions League, Arsenal saw a potential return to form on Saturday, winning 2-0 at Everton. The first goal coming through Ozil and Alexis to Welbeck and the second goal from Alexi Iwobi on his first Premier League start.

Greetings from a damp and gloomy River of Boiling Water where I can’t even keep up with self-made deadlines. Sorry for the lack of post last week, but I promise this one will be just as adequate as ever.

On the Internets:

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President Obama has announced that he will nominate Dr. Carla Hayden as the next Librarian of Congress, which is awesome because she pretty much revolutionized the Baltimore public library system, is a huge opponent of the DMCA, actively fights against surveillance, and supports open access to the internet. Speaking of fighting against surveillance, none other than John Oliver has spoken up in support of Apple denying the FBI’s request to open up it’s software for surveillance. The cofounder of AOL has passed away at the age of 76. A man who gave his name as “Jonny Frackoff” in Farnborough, England has dressed up as a speed camera to protest government surveillance.

Meanwhile some clown was smoking meth in a Waffle House, and Santigold has a new video that YOU can star in.

Locally:

It’s been a lot of busy doing nothing around here lately, though I have spent a lot of time trying to get one of my mopeds running, as well as seeing Deadpool for the second time (still just as good and could watch again), and becoming slightly addicted to Baseball Highlights 2045.

I’ve Been Reading:

Secret Wars, Doctor Strange Chapter 1, Walking Dead, Saga

In the Earhole:

Eye Pollution:

In addition to the aforementioned Deadpool, I also recently watched Belle, which was quite good. I’ve also been enjoying The Night Manager which I think will be coming to AMC sometime soon. Quite good, and based on the John Le Carre novel of the same name.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

It’s been a very rough week to be an Arsenal fan, after a loss to Swansea, a draw to Sp*rs, and the exit from the FA Cup at the hands of Watford yesterday. I am not looking forward to the Barcelona match Wednesday, and I feel the weekend trip to Everton will be a tough one as well. Fourth place is still a trophy, right?

 

Greetings from a snow dusted River of Boiling Water (NO NOT THAT ONE) where things seem to be going just ok.

On the Internets:

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The internet thinks Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Uganda tried to block out social media in an attempt to control elections, but Ugandans got around it. Fat penguins are not as good at waddling as thinner penguins. A city in Canada wants to track criminals in their town with technology that doesn’t exist. A unicorn got a time-out for being naughty. Eric Holder wishes he was Kareem Abdul-Jabar. A woman in Romania knitted a coat out of her own hair.

Why do we encourage girls to be scared? A man gets hacked because he asked for it. The guy who created the worst Atari game in history claims it was Spielberg’s fault.

Locally:

It’s been a busy week with work, but I did get a chance to work some more on my moped, but it’s still not running the way I want it. It was warm enough yesterday that I could roast coffee, which is great, because I had some really not good stuff from a local roaster and needed a palate cleanser.

I’ve Been Reading:

Finally finished The Sandman. It was just as good as everyone ever said it was. Thanks for pretty much every friend of mine ever for recommending it.

This piece by Laura Munoz

Also the 100 jokes that shaped modern comedy. I am still not funny.

In the Earhole:

Eye Pollution:

Speaking of things that aren’t funny, Ernest Goes to Camp does not hold up. I’ve been watching Borgen, and have also become completely fascinated by Insert Name Here. Quite possibly one of the funniest British panel shows out right now. And yes, I’m including QI in that list.

I also watched Trapped, which aside from not knowing how to pronounce any fucking character’s name was not too bad. There was also 30 Degrees in February which I just couldn’t get into.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

After an absolutely maddening performance against Barcelona ended with the visitors wining 2-0, Arsenal somehow couldn’t get their shit enough to beat a Manchester United team that was missing FIFTEEN first team players, losing 3-2. Title chances aren’t gone, but coming back is going to take SCORING GOALS and it wouldn’t hurt if Leicester lost a few.

Greetings from the River of Boiling Water where I had planned on leading with this story about a mentally ill guy here stabbing someone because voices told him that she had “cut off the head of god”, but then, we have one nice day of weather and it causes some Uber driver to go nuts and start killing people.  The town is reeling, and details are still being revealed.  Is the time to get out now?

On the Internets:

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Apple decided not to buckle to government pressure to create a backdoor into iOS, and a judge in California ruled that the Electronic Frontier Foundation can conduct a discovery against the NSA. This is a HUGE fucking deal, because it’s the first time in HISTORY that someone will be able to get details about the warrantless surveillance conducted by the NSA. Your parmesan cheese may be full of wood pulp. Hijab Barbie is blowing up Instagram, while venture capitalists may be less likely to fund women’s startups because they have stay-at-home wives and male biology students consistently underrate their female peers and hey, hoverboard porn is a thing now. Cars still provide higher profits, but in 2015, Volkswagen sold more sausages than automobiles.

Locally:

Not a lot going on really, other than I finally got a chance to take the moped out yesterday and did some much needed maintenance, such as replacing it’s tires, which given that they were the original tires, meant that they were as old as I was. I also flushed a bunch of junk out of the tank, but it’s still got some problems, just need to get a moped guru to take a look at it, because it’s beyond me at this point.

I’ve Been Reading:

Didn’t have a lot of chance to get anything read this week, but hoping that changes soon. My comics list is piling up quick, and I’d really like to finally knock out the Sandman.

In the Earhole:

Eye Pollution:

Rewatched The Prestige this week, and it was just as good as I remembered it. The Bridge Season 3 was a gut wrencher.

My friend Scott sent along a link to this video:

ALSO motherfucking DEADPOOL. Probably the truest comic-to-film adaptations I’ve ever seen.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

A heavily rotated (BUT STILL TALENTED ENOUGH TO BEAT HULL) drew against Steve Bruce’s Hull City in a scoreless affair. Normally I’m not one to blame the referees, but Mike Dean should be ashamed of himself for missing not 1 but TWO clear penalty calls.

Greetings from The River of Boiling Water where we have single digit temperatures, snow and ice on the ground, and I do my best to stay indoors.

On the Internets:

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Henry VIII’s late life tyrannical behavior may have been the result of head trauma. A 12-year old girl in India has ants that seem to spontaneously come out of her ears EVERY FUCKING DAY. A phone hacker is kickstarting a service to fight telemarketers. A Florida man was banned from all Wendy’s restaurants and charged with assault with a deadly weapon when he threw an alligator into the drive-thru window. A 94 year old former Nazi has gone on trial for the murder of 170,000 people. Mothers in richer countries are having more twins. Michelle Obama called White House wi-fi “a little sketchy”. Rom-coms may promote stalking behavior. Gravitational waves may have been found. In the wake of the Flint water crisis, it’s important to note that there used to be a Lead Industries Association that was essentially the equivalent of Big Tobacco, but with lead. A bill in the US House is looking to weaken local bills that try to weaken encryption on personal electronic devices. A video game company is being sued due to unlicensed depictions of NBA players’ tattoos.

And a town in Slovenia is building a public beer fountain.

Locally:

The big news for me this week was that I got called to serve Jury Duty. I would talk about that more, but technically the case is still on going, so maybe next week. Other than that it’s been a pretty quiet week.

I’ve Been Reading:

Finished The Girl With All the Gifts. The hype from my sister and a few other people was very founded.

Warren Ellis has written a story in the Project Superpowers universe called Black Cross. It added a strange supernatural sort of element which I’m not sure it needed, but still a fun read.
Caught up on the new run of Doctor Strange written by Jason Aaron. I’m not exactly sure I like the way he’s writing Strange…There’s no calm cool collectedness to it, but more of a “HEY LOOK GUYS, I KNOW MAGIC AND I’M FUN AT PARTIES.” I’m going to see how this arc wraps up, and then make a decision if I want to drop it or not.
Speaking of Jason Aaron, his book Southern Bastards is an amazingly fun book, especially for someone from the South. The Walking Dead has hit 150 issues, and it’s still plugging away. I’ve never seen the TV show, but I’ve heard there’s enough difference that I’m not sure I would be into it.

And as far as television adaptations go, it appears there’s a version of Lucifer out now (presumably based on the Mike Carey books, which is weird, since Holly Black (who wrote the YA Spiderwick Chronicles series) has taken over on it and it is ridiculously good.

Also, this awesome article on Congolese sapeurs.

In the Earhole:

Eye Pollution:

The week saw more reading, and less television. That said, I’ve been watching Deutschland 83 and it’s absolutely fantastic. Highly recommended.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

Danny Welbeck, fresh back from injury time put away a last ditch free kick from Ozil to beat high flying Leicester City 2-1, keeping their title hopes alive.

Greetings from the River of Boiling Water where the snow, like my hairline, is receding.

On the Internets:

Americans spent more money on legal weed last year than on Cheetos. Tony the Tiger has no comment. In other animal news, the Dutch are training eagles to take down drones. Uber is trying to soothe drunken passengers with toys. In Italy, you can buy stocks that are backed by Parmesan cheese. There’s an excellent article about element scarcity, which seems a weird contrast to Apple bricking customer’s phones and a landfill fire in Mumbai that can be seen FROM. OUTER. FUCKING. SPACE. Twitter has opted to try out an algorithmic timeline, a la Facebook, speaking of wasted resources. Also, the UN released a pretty damning report on the state of African-Americans in the US. An Australian woman crashed her own funeral after her husband had put out a hit on her.

Sounds like it’s a good time to get a drink, which according to this report from CAMRA, is probably a good thing.

Locally:

Just got back from Chicago, where I saw my first opera. Like ever. Unless you count “What’s Opera, Doc?” which I don’t think you can.

I’ve been drinking a lot of a cocktail called “The Thug” lately. Here’s the recipe:
1.5 oz bourbon (I’ve been using Buffalo Trace, but recently have realized something spicier would be better)
1 oz honey syrup (Honey and water 1:1)
.25 oz lemon juice
Scrappy’s Firewater Tincture

Mix the bourbon, honey, and lemon juice together, and strain over ice. Add firewater tincture to taste…I usually go about 5 drops/1 dash. The base cocktail is nice, but with the firewater you’re adding this really nice heat/spice element to the drink that mostly comes just in the finish.

I’ve Been Reading:

Finally wrapped up The Devil You Know and ready to start jumping into The Girl With All the Gifts, though I also need to clean up my comics inbox. I’ve also got The Tomorrow Girl collection that I recently found and realized I hadn’t read.

In the Earhole:

Eye Pollution:

Finished up The London Spy last week and sweet jeebus was the ending just as awful as the rest of it. It looks like the snow is going to hit us hard again this week, so I suspect I will be watching more television. I’ve got a lot left of season 3 of The Bridge so maybe I can work on that.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

Arsenal had a terrible midweek, with a nil-nil draw to Southampton doing a decent amount of damage to Arsenal’s title chances, if we’re all being honest. That said, the goals in this morning’s 2-0 win against Bournemouth might be enough to get things back on track, even though Leicester City seems damn near unstoppable.

Greetings from a dreary and dismal River of Boiling Water, where we’ve been given a reprieve, it would appear, from the snow, but instead we just get a huge wall of grey. I’m older than my young glasses would make me appear, so let’s just get the hell on with it.

On the Internets:

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Very few of your friends on Facebook are people you would turn to in times of emotional crisis. Italians covered up nude artworks in anticipation of a visit from the Iranian president. A filmmaker protested against UK film censorship by forcing them to watch over 10 hours of paint drying. A Swiss email provider is fighting a new surveillance law. A photo of a potato sold for over a million dollars. A Republican strategist said that most of most of Donald Trump’s supporters were “childless single men who masturbate to anime”. Google announced that they have developed a computer Go-playing program that can defeat humans. Winter Storm Jonas caused a spike in Tinder matches. Supernatural dolls can now get seats on a Thai airline.

Locally:

I had a birthday, and there was a lot of things going on with that, culminating in a very lovely dinner at Principle where I had a mushroom broth that I’m pretty sure was made from unicorn tears.

I’ve Been Reading:

Sandman is still on hold, as I’ve been busy at work and pretty much when I’m done with that I want something more passive than even a graphic novel, so there’s been a lot more television. I did get a few chapters of The Devil You Know in and it is so good even the second time round. Of special internet note were the newest T-Nehisi Coates article on considering reparations (which if you haven’t read the original one, do that first.) as well as this very interesting article about a neurologist who had brain surgery performed on himself to be able to record neurological pulses.

In the Earhole:

Artist Plays
Simon & Garfunkel 12
Crosby, Stills, & Nash 11
Death Cab for Cutie 11
James Taylor 11
The Kinks 11
The Velvet Underground 11
Neil Young 10
Sugar 10
The Beatles 10
Beck 9
Spoon 9

Eye Pollution:

Finished Jessica Jones, finally saw Gone Girl and since I had a boatload of laundry to catch up on I even watched the schlocky Dungeons and Dragons, which was pretty unimpressive UNTIL TOM BAKER SHOWED UP. When he left it was unimpressive again. Also wrapped up season four of The Great British Bake Off.  I have been told that there is also a great Irish bakeoff, which I am interested in. I also started watching London Spy; it’s been really slow so far, but it’s only 5 episodes total, so I will probably still finish it.

Boring, Boring Arsenal:

A heavily rotated Arsenal beat Burnley in the FA cup 2-1. Of note in the match were the return of Alexis Sanchez and Tomas Rosicky, as well as the debut of Mohamed Elneny, and the interesting deployment of Alex Iwobi as a central attacking midfielder. It wasn’t a very pretty match, but it got the job done.